Give me your dumb, your stupid,
Your huddled masses yearning to shoot steel,
The wretched refuse of your mild steel.
Send these, the idiotic, forum-tossed, to me:
I lift my AR500 beside the non steel core.
- M107, redditor
Q: Is the steel on steel rule so you don't catch things on fire?
A: Partially. Steel on steel is no go because it pits the AR500 and vastly increases the risk of ricochet, because the steel core doesn't disintegrate like lead and copper does. Here's a video of bullets hitting stuff. It's queued up to where it looks like it's hitting hardened steel. You can see the projectile totally disintegrate. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QfDoQwIAaXg&feature=youtu.be&t=6m26s And yes, we have set the range on fire during testing. Trust us, it can happen.
Q: Why are your holes square?
A: For carriage bolts to sit flush allowing you to hang the targets with only one tool, and so you don’t fornicate with them, you freak.
Q: Just got some one hole round targets and am wondering why the holes are offset from the nearest diameter. Is this a feature, and if so, what is the design rationale?
A: This is what happens when you let a geologist do CAD work. The first drawing had two holes at ~10 and 2 o'clock. When we needed a one hole version, one hole was deleted and SAVEAS was hit. The rest, as they say, is history.
Q: Do you conduct background checks before selling high capacity assault AR500 steel targets?
A: The 2nd Amendment to our business plan, if we had one, would clearly state “the right to keep and bear MOA AR500 steel targets shall not be infringed.”
Q: My state restricts the right to keep and bear MOA AR500 steel targets. Can I, as a law enforcement officer still buy these targets?
A: No, if law abiding citizens in your state cannot keep and bear MOA AR500 steel targets, we here at MOA feel it would be unjust to sell them to government agencies.
Q: A friend wanted me to ask if, hypothetically speaking, you could still fornicate with square holes?
A: We’re not doctors around here (yet), but we’d recommend you see one. Also, we wouldn’t recommending putting this information on a Form 4473.
Q: Can you make me a target of [insert politician, ex girlfriend, current boyfriend, or random person here]?
A: Yes. But we won’t. We will, however, sell you a generic target and you can do your own dirty work.
Q: Can you cut specific outlines if provided a pattern? I’m thinking Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. I’d say Twilight Sparkle too but only real dorks like that one.
A: Yes, as long as you own the copyright, we can cut whatever you want that will fit on a 60x120” sheet of material. And for bronies, we have a special offer of letting you ride the material while it is being cut.
Q: Can I shoot this target way closer than MOA, and pretty much everyone out there selling targets, recommends?
A: Yes, you can do whatever you want. Our responsibility for the results of doing what we expressly told you not to do is limited to: pointing and laughing, taking pictures if we’re around, and posting the pictures to the internets as a warning of happens when you ignore us.
SAQ (Seldom Asked Questions)
Q: Is it true that magical elves cut the targets individually with tiny chisels?
A: No, we use a 4,000 watt laser. However, if you ever find an elf in your box, please return him, his family misses him.
Q: If you could be any kind of tree, what kind of tree would you be?
A: A potato. Hah. Is joke. There is no potato, only malnourish.
Q: When is LunarWars 2 coming out?
A: Tuesday of next week.
Q: Can I get a protective coat of Fe2O3 on my targets for long lasting protection?
A: All MOA Targets come with a varied thickness coat of Fe2O3 for protection at no extra charge.
Q: I shoot steel targets and then lug them around in my pack. This is the same pack my cat sits in when I go hiking (don't judge me). Last week someone said something about needing to bag the targets up before putting them in a pack b/c there will be lead fragments on the targets. Do you know a safe way I could clean my pack of any lead fragments to avoid giving my cat lead poisoning?
A: Encapsulation would be your hot ticket, you cat carrying freak. Just take a can of spray paint or clear sealant, brush any frags off the target, and give it a good coat of paint before you put them back in the bag.
Have more questions? Ask ‘em at email@example.com
Below is a Flash based version of Lemmings. Don't ask questions, just play it.